In Memoriam

He saw through the bullshit, and told the truth about it.

My world is a little bit emptier today.


R.I.P.
George Carlin
1937 - 2008

Another helping

The day started great. I got up early, and for once was pretty well rested. I got to work early, and my papers were ready early, so I got an early start on the route. There, I think I’ve used up my quota of “earlies” for this entry.

I was making great time, and was going to finish far ahead of where I usually do. Those of you who regularly follow the adventures of our hero probably know that Something Bad probably happened, and you would be correct in this guess. Once again, Fate jammed her fickle finger straight up my orneriest orifice, and served me up a big steaming pile of my favorite food.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this at all recently, but Victor’s tires are really worn. The cord was showing on a couple of them. I had a slow leak in one, but it finally went flat for the last time a couple of weeks ago, and I got a new tire to replace it. My plan was to do one tire per pay period.

I hadn’t had a chance to do the second tire yet. This morning on the route around 0600, the next tire blew on me. I was not happy; I had about 1/3 of the route left to do. Granted, it was the quickest third, but speed was not meant to be this morning.

I shouldn’t fail to also mention that due to stereo modifications I’ve made in Victor, the spare tire is completely inaccessible. I had assumed it to be accessible until I tried it today. No dice. As long as that ginormous subwoofer is in the trunk, there will be no spare tires for our hero save for the one he carries with him at all times.

I managed to get the car to a parking lot, and dug out my ever-faithful cell phone. The very cell phone that I nearly forgot at home this morning, but something told me to go back into the house and get it, and I did. I decided to make a call to a tire place that I knew had a special service truck that would come and replace my tire. Completely forgetting that I have a phone book in Victor, I called 411 for Information.

I got the number from the human operator, and set about calling. No answer. No answer even after the 5th attempt at calling. It was probably too early for them to be open.

Then I remembered that Volkswagen has its own Roadside Assistance hotline, and I have the number programmed into my cell. I called. “I need a tire changed completely. I have no spare.” Help was sent, with the promise that it would arrive within an hour.

0730. The guy finally arrived. He grabbed his tools from the back of his pickup, and asked where my spare was. I told him “I told your people I don’t have one.”

To make a long story slightly less long, there was nothing he could do, and that cost me $87. I discovered the phone book inside Victor, began calling around, and finally got a new tire to the tune of $116, and got back on the road to finally finish delivering the damn papers by 1100.

Basically, I need to remember from now on that if a day starts out good, it’s only a matter of time before everything goes completely to hell. For some reason, as I’ve written about previously, I am simply not allowed to have anything go completely right. I don’t know who is deciding this for me; if I did know, I’d talk to them about it, but there’s nothing I can do.

Sorry about posting this so late in the day, but I was so exhausted from the events of this morning that I’ve had to go in and nap for a while every couple of paragraphs.

Two surveys

I see it’s been a while since I’ve written anything to put up in here. I still don’t really have anything to write about, but I want to do an entry, so I’m going to post a couple of Internet surveys that I took today on Myspace®. I was going through the bulletins, and saw that my sister Corinna had filled out a couple of them, so I did the same.

The first one:

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
My mother as she lay dying.

Who was the last person to call you?
Some telemarketer called me illegally

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
I don't currently do anything alcoholic.

Would you take any of your exes back?
Maybe one . . .

Did you sing at all today?
I never sing.

When is the last time you cried?
What time is it?

Last text from?
Haven't received a text in years.

Are you scared of spiders?
Not really.

Do you miss anyone?
Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, a few others

Do you curse a lot?
Always

Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
Nobody

Have you ever drank with your number one?
Never met any of my Tops

Are you too forgiving?
Yeah. I need to work on that.

Olive Garden is?
Don't think I've ever been to one.

Do you have trust issues?
Definitely

What are you currently doing?
Taking this survey thing.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Probably not. I can't handle stuff like that.

Are you a cuddler?
Not particularly.

Have you ever punched a guy?
Of course.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
There's a bunch of stuff I need to change, yeah

What are your plans for this weekend?
Work

Have you ever lived on a dirt/gravel road?
No

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
This is Minnesota, folks.

Ever been to a bonfire party?
Too many

Have you ever been on a horse?
Never

Kissed someone in a pick up?
Yeah

What’s your favorite country song?
I don't listen to country.

Ever done 90 miles per hour down a dirt road?
Yeah, but I wasn't the one driving.

Are you dating the person you texted last?
Not dating anyone.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe/baby?
Not really. What are they up to?

What irritating you right now?
The fact that I have to go to work in a few minutes.

What radio station(s) do you listen to?
I only listen to radio on the Internet.WXPN out of Philly, and some world music stations

Are you afraid of the dark?
Not really

Can you run a mile without stopping?
I can't run at all.

Are you listening to music right now?
No

Do you like Chinese food?
Yes

Do you know your fathers birthday?
Yes

What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
I think it was Spider-Man 3

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Mom, Grandpa & Grandma

Do you talk to the person you like everyday?
I don't talk to anybody everyday

How many different houses have you lived in throughout your life?
8 maybe?

Do you lose your keys easily?
Only when I put them in my other pocket

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Never

Last time you hung out with people?
Can't remember

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Yes

How many kids do you want to have?
0

What are you wearing right now?
pj's...t-shirt and sweat pants

Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes

Who knows you the best?
Nobody really. I close myself off.

Did you buy something today?
Gas

Last person you hugged?
Bella

Last person to lay in your bed?
Me

What was the last TV show you watched?
Star Trek: Voyager

Wasn’t that fun? I thought so. In fact, it was so much fun, here’s another one:

What color is your toothbrush?
White

Name one person that made you smile today?
I haven't interacted with anybody today

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Sleeping

What is your favorite candy bar?
Either Hershey's® or Dove®, as long as it's DARK chocolate

Have you ever been to a strip club?
I'm a single guy. Guess.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
Jesus f-ing Christ

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Godiva® Belgian Dark Chocolate

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Coffee

What was the last thing you ate?
Chicken fingers

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Not even this decade

When was the last time you ran?
When I was in the Army, probably in 1989

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message to on myspace?
My sis

Do you take vitamins daily?
No

Do you go to church every Sunday?
No

Do you have a tan?
No

Do you like Chinese food over pizza?
I like them separately; not one over the other

Do you drink your soda with a straw?
If it's fountain pop

What did your last text message say?
I don't text

Are you someone's best friend?
No

What are you doing tomorrow?
Same as today. Nothing

Look to your left, what do you see?
My other computer

What color is your watch?
I don't use watches; I don't like them

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Mullets, and Foster's® Lager

Do you use Chapstick®?
No

What is your birthstone?
Blue zircon, I think

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through?
Drive-thru

Do you have a dog?
Bella

Last guy you talked on the phone with?
My friend Paul

Last girl you talked on the phone with?
Some woman from work

Have you met anyone famous?
Kinda sorta

Ever go to college?
Yes, but never finished

Do you dye your hair?
Why would I do that?

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
My finances

Last song listened to?
'I Don't Know How To Love Him' from the Jesus Christ: Superstar soundtrack

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Never tried, and not about to

Do you have a maid service clean your house?
I don't even clean my house, why would I pay somebody else to do it?

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Cherokee®

What was your wedding song?
Never been married

Are you jealous of anyone?
Yeah

Is any one jealous of you?
Nothing for them to be jealous of

Do any of your friends have children?
All of them. For some reason, people think it's a necessity

What do you usually do during the day?
Putz around the house

Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
I don't hate anyone or anything. It's too strong a word

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Never

Do you like cats?
Take 'em or leave 'em

Have you ever been to Six Flags®?
No

How did you get your worst scar?
Air drumming, using a pair of nunchakus as drumsticks

There you have it. Now I’ve done an update, and maybe provided you with some info about me that you may not have known previously. Not that you wanted the info.